This little NYC lady shows that she’s passing big milestones quicker than her mommy can pass the milk!
Dream: I’m having tea with the Queen of England to discuss the upcoming addition to her family because she wants to make sure the baby is well understood and knows I’m the source for baby-parent translating. At her request, after staying up late at night for weeks on end in my crib, I’ve finally corrected all the mistakes about raising and caring for babies found on Wikipedia (in case the royal family uses the popular site as a resource). What a big job that was! I also read a lot of other interesting stuff on this Wiki thing, by the way. This tiny toddler is a sponge, soaking up all that I can and processing it later during my naps. At times, this leads to sleep walking and talking but it’s all for a noble cause. My constantly developing physical, mental, social, and emotional prowess now allow me to articulate what I want clearly and achieve physical feats beyond my years. I’m on an upward trajectory and there’s no slowing this burgeoning baby down!
Reality: I’m having tea with Mommy and Grandma at Lady Mendl’s tea salon. I can tell this is a rather fancy place because they wouldn’t let Mommy bring the clip-on high chair since there’s crystal and fine china set on the table. So the delightful staff hooked me up with a beautiful, new high chair that is secured to one of the lovely armchairs. I feel like royalty.
It’s so exciting that I’ve mastered the art of eating. Well, unless you want me to use a fork and spoon properly and drink from a cup that’s not a sippy cup. That will come later. For now, I prefer to use the water glasses as a receptacle to wash my hands and the utensils to drum and entertain the dining room.
During our tea, I wow Grandma by using a lot of my words and even try some new ones. I tell her that I’m an intelligent, sassy, sweet, and good girl. Really, I did. I at least said the good girl part unmistakably. My vocabulary is rapidly growing. Mommy notices every time we read books and I say the words with her (or if she asks me to repeat a word or tell her what something is and I do!). She is so proud and it makes her feel better that I pay attention. Sometimes Mommy doesn’t think I pay attention, but the truth is that I’m absorbing everything. I’m a very quick learner.
We’re enjoying our tea thoroughly and having all sorts of fancy fare. My favorites were the finger sandwiches. I ate them like a big girl. With my fingers. From a china plate! And I loved the scones with cream and preserves. I took a bite and then used my words to ask for more preserves for each bite and Grandma gave me more after I said please. I really am so well mannered. I even made sure to toast the special occasion by clanking my sippy cup with Mommy and Grandma’s tea cups to say cheers. And then I insisted on cheers with the teapot. It was extra special. But the most special was my fancy milk cup. Grandma used it to pour milk into her tea. What a mistake. The milk is perfect on its own. So I grabbed hold of the creamer (I think that’s what Grandma called it) and drank the milk pure and simple. If the Queen could see me now!
We finished the tea party with some cake and cookies. These tasty treats made for a fantastic finale. They saved the best for last. Being the adventurous eater that I am, and also mindful that I have to keep my milk belly growing, I tried at least one bite of each treat. Then I gave it to Grandma and Mommy to try bites, too. Mommy laughed and told Grandma how good I am at sharing. I was just glad she noticed.
Being the thoughtful baby that I am, I decided to pick up the tab. I reached for Mommy’s wallet and took out my favorite credit card, the one she had custom designed for me with Puppy on it. I waved it in the air with excitement, but the waiter came by and actually tried to take it. What nerve! Can you imagine? Mommy quickly got out another card instead. That was a close call!
We wrapped up our special tea party and wiped our hands and mouths clean. I wiped by myself but Mommy tried to help so I protested of course. I was already clean enough! I gave a round of applause for a terrific tea service and waved goodbye to all my fellow tea partiers. After taking a couple of family photos, we said thank you to the hostess and were on our way. As you can see, my social graces are unparalleled.
My physical accomplishments are pretty great, too, as I demonstrated by taking Mommy’s hand in mine and Grandma’s hand in the other, and climbing down the brownstone steps. I did it effortlessly and really didn’t need to hold their hands, but I know they like feeling needed. I used my big muscles to descend the steps and then hail a taxi.
I was ready for a nap after such an exhausting adventure in displaying all my passing milestones for Grandma. Plus, I was tea-partied out!
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